A Different Set of the 3 R's

We all know about the 3R's: Resentment, Resistance, and Revenge. How about another set of 3R's that would be useful to get out of the regular 3R's? These might just be: Review, Release, Renew.
 
Review
Take stock of where I am in this situation. First of all, I have to be aware that I'm in the 3R's if I'm to hope to get out. Then be aware of what's going on for me. And be honest about it, even brutally honest. It's never a good idea to lie to other people; it's infinitely worse to lie to myself. Be aware of how my perspective of what's going on is affecting my reaction to the situation. It's very likely that the story I made up about what happened is what's driving my resentment. If I recast the story so that it's positive for me, I may be able to change my whole perspective.

Release
Let go of the animosity; release the negative energy. My choice to be in the 3R's is costing somebody something; it's likely that the person who's paying the biggest price is me! When I bring my energy down, all of a sudden I am open to all kinds of new possibilities. At this point it becomes possible to forgive. And by forgive I don't necessarily mean the 21st Century version of forgiveness, where there's total reconciliation and everything is all lovey-dovey. I'm referring to the Biblical notion of forgiveness, where to forgive means to release an obligation. In Biblical Israel, up to and including the time of Jesus, when one person wronged another, an obligation was presumed to have been created, such that the "wrongor" had to "make it up" to the "wrongee." To forgive was for the "wrongee" to release the "wrongor" from this obligation, this debt. Notice that some translations of The Lord's Prayer say "forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." That's not a reference to somebody owing someone some money; it refers to releasing the obligations to God and to others created by someone's transgressions. Note also that there's nothing here that says I have to be friends with the person I have forgiven. Releasing the obligation is principally about restoring my harmony.

Renew
Set about rebuilding the relationship, in the full knowledge that it may never be the same as it was before. This is where open, honest, responsible communication comes in handy. At the very least I can get clean with what went on so that I can go forward in the most positive manner for me.

And finally, it’s likely that there’s a fourth R: Reapply. Like sun block that wears off and needs to be reapplied, these 3R’s may need to be reapplied frequently.